“Live from Kirkland… It’s Tuesday Night!”

Sit down and let me tell you a tale of a place like no other. Where the beer flows like high speed internet, where the wine flows like beer, and where no two business cards are the same. Sounds like a dream right? Wrong. This is New Tech Eastside and it is very, very real.

“I put on lipstick.”

The night kicked off on quirky note, as Katie Walvatne acknowledged that she didn’t resemble the photo on the big screen, and joined Brett Greene on stage as a Peter Chee impersonator. To get things started, Brett and “Peter” introduced the interactive portion of the evening: Community shout-outs! Following pleas to beta test, review, and join teams of techies, three startup weekends were advertised. If you are interested in building a product geared toward B2B sales, health innovation systems, or Latino markets, visit http://startupweekend.org to learn more about how you can participate!

“I’m from Texas, I always carry a pocket knife, and I won a state-wide coloring contest in the 1st grade.”

Kicking off the presentation portion of the night, Brandy Rhodes from NTE sponsor 9Mile Labs introduced her company as one that “invests in people with smart, innovative tech ideas” before turning the floor over to iMovR.

“Nobody should be sentenced to the chair!”

Ron Wiener from iMovR made a compelling argument, advocating the value and the usability of his treadmill desks. In his words, iMovR is “in the business of office fitness.” Ron says that getting people out of their seats is what drives his company. For those of you that can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, don’t knock it ‘til you try it! Like Ron said, “Jimmy Kimmel can do it… Even Peter Chee can do it!”

“This is getting dangerous…”

With an arm like Babe Ruth, the aim of Annie Oakley, and the stage presence of the Three Stooges, Frontier demonstrated a mean curveball t-shirt toss to reward correct answers to trivia questions about Seattle. Coming in hot behind this energetic interlude was Trent, the man behind the mouse(flow).

“We’re cutting edge, NSA-style!”

Trent Scott launched Mouseflow in 2009. His aim? To revolutionize the way people view website analytics data using heat maps and real-time playbacks of visitor activity on websites. Aggregating that data onto a sexy dashboard, Mouseflow takes cyber-stalking to a whole new level by making it easy for a company to analyze the behavior of actual visitors on their website. Mouseflow provides companies with the data they need to optimize how they organize and present their information virtually. Since its launch, Mouseflow has spread over nine countries and provides service to companies like Pepsi, Frontier Airlines, and the Weather Channel.

“Lose the chimp, send in blue!”

Papa Smurf made a cameo appearance to represent SendinBlue, a NTE sponsor. Offering an alternative to companies like MailChimp, SendinBlue facilitates the efficient sending of newsletters. Papa Smurf gave Sailesh from Mobisante a warm New Tech welcome.

“I’m going to volunteer my body for science now.”

Giving a real-time demonstration on stage, Sailesh Chutani with Mobisante validated the gadget that has earned him several awards, and worldwide press. Traditional ultrasound machines conservatively cost $35,000, weigh as much as a chubby rhinoceros, and are about as portable as a grand piano. Mobisante has created the first-ever mobile diagnostic ultrasound machine, offering users clear and accessible ultrasound imaging on a smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Because of this technology, ultrasound imaging is now made available to previously underserved populations, including climbers on Mt. Everest, soldiers in active duty, and organizations that provide healthcare in remote areas of the world. The basic unit costs less than $5,000, weighs less than 12 ounces, and its counterpart app is so easy, a caveman could do it.

“New Tech Eastside Rocks… er… dot rocks.”

Wake up on the WrongSide of the bed because you’re sick and tired of being just another dot-com? Maybe it’s time you try RightSide, the company that brings you access to an encyclopedia of unique domain names such as “.rocks” or “.ninja.” Shawn from RightSide introduced the last presenter of the evening, GoDaddy.*

“I have no idea, I’m just a developer.”

What do you get when you mix heavy slides of coding language, intricate descriptions of platform updates, and a captive audience of techies? I have no idea. I’m not a developer. What I do know is that GoDaddy is in the business of individuality. GoDaddy has a cult following as the go-to website for landing the perfect domain name to provide you with the unique online presence you crave. For example, my domain name might be chantel@overmyhead.sorrygodaddy. See how that works?

“I took off my lipstick…”

Arriving fashionably late to the stage, Peter Chee (the real one) joined Brett on stage to thank the presenters for the evening and give the attendees a proper send off. Cheers to another night of entertaining presentations, techies turned stand-up comics, and near-miss merchandise tosses! Until next time, Eastside!

*I now see the irony of this lineup.