#9 The Quality of Your Life is the Quality of Your Relationships: 5 Years Lessons Learned

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Tony Robbins

In September 2009, I was really fortunate to be able to attend the Twitter Conference in Los Angeles. At that conference I got to hear the keynote given by Tony Robbins. It stands as one of the top 10 best moving speeches I’ve heard in my life.

The Quality of Your Life is the Quality of Your Relationships

During Tony’s presentation he said “If you’re a business person you can look at your business. You can look at your employees, you can look at their Tweets and within a few minutes you can see how they think. Are they emotionally driven? Spiritually driven? Financially driven? Are they people that are building people up? Tearing them down? You can quickly know what they are about and you now know how to serve them. Twitter shows you a persons blueprint really quickly. Some of you it’s all business, all relationships, spirituality, money, there’s not that many things in life.”

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships, because, that is where emotions are most magnified.” – Tony Robbins

Lesson Learned:

In the start-up world, I feel like I’ve seen it all. Some of it first hand, other times observing from the sideline. Founders firing their co-founder. Founders firing their first employee. Employees quitting in batches. Relationships being discarded left and right.

Over the years I’ve had my fair share of goodbyes. Some of these goodbyes were initiated by me, some by others. It is painful to say goodbye when I have to fire someone. It sucks when people you invest in — quit you. The thing I’ve come to peace with is that I want to be with people that “want to” be with me. I recognize each of us are on our own journey, our paths cross and are aligned, then sometimes the path diverges. So the lesson is, don’t be so hard on yourself. Forgive yourself and extend more grace to others.

Alternate Lesson:

“Do what you did in the beginning of the relationship at the end and there won’t be an end.” – Tony Robbins

When relationships break – here’s something to consider… “There’s no weakness in forgiveness” – Annie Vander Pol (Director, Social Evangelist) wrote an amazing blog post that might shift your perspective.

5 Years Lessons Learned

I’ve made tons of mistakes over the last five years since starting up thinkspace. These are some *highlights* of the mistakes and lessons learned along the way. Thanks for being a part of the journey!

8 replies
  1. Annie Vander Pol
    Annie Vander Pol says:

    Great post, Peter. I love the idea of looking at a person’s tweets to see how they think…that makes me wonder (as well as accountable) to what others might think of me re: the content of my tweets! And my biggest takeaway here is your alternate lesson. Too often, I put forth a ton of energy in relationships at the beginning, but then not as much later. This week I got a text from my brother saying that my nephews missed me. Ouch. I need to realign my priorities and relationships (and never be too busy for them to miss me again!).

    Reply
    • Peter Chee
      Peter Chee says:

      Thanks for the comment Annie! Before you joined thinkspace I think I read almost every one of your blog posts. Your core values are pretty visible from what you write about. The things that really drew me in was your leadership abilities and your commitment to your faith. I knew I had to work with someone like you!

      Reply
    • Cecilia Kiddee
      Cecilia Kiddee says:

      Annie- this quote came to mind when I read your post:

      “We can only be said to be alive in the moments when our hearts are conscious of their treasures”. – Thornton Wilder

      Reply
  2. Cecilia Kidder
    Cecilia Kidder says:

    Bravo Peter! I so agree! At the end of the day, it’s about what we bring to our relationships. If and when paths diverge, you can look yourself in the mirror and still like the person looking back at you!

    Interesting perspective concerning twitter! Everyone has a different language for success, what drives them and what is meaningful to them!

    I appreciate your candor! It is refreshing and a good reminder that when you see people who are successful, and it appears easy, think again! It’s a journey of continual growth, assessment and recalibration! And usually, we are toughest on ourselves. So remember to be a little gentle every now and again with youself as well!

    Congrats Peter on your first five years! Here’s to the next five years and all that it will bring!

    Reply
  3. Anne Samoilov
    Anne Samoilov says:

    Great post Peter. Since meeting y’all at Thinkspace, I regularly say how lucky I am to have met you and the team. It’s no joke when I leave a space completely energized…. and I don’t take that for granted. I definitely read between the lines too with people – how they communicate and the genuine quality in that communication (with me) means so much.

    And – how do I recharge after a launch (not that you asked, but…)? I reconnect with my family, friends, colleagues I haven’t spoken to in awhile. Connecting is the only way what I do has any meaning!

    Congrats again on your frist five years! So many great lessons.

    Reply
    • Peter Chee
      Peter Chee says:

      Thanks Anne — likewise, I am so happy that Kat introduced us. As I think about the first five years and think about recharging, I just scheduled a week away with the family to head out to Seabrook. I’m looking forward to kicking back out on the beach and having campfires!

      Reply

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